No... Not Another Time!

I hope this is my last diary-like entry. I wanted these posts to be weekly, inspirational, and short. That plan has been hijacked by my Israel trip diary, and more recently by the upset of the relocation.

But once again I have surprised myself, and not in a good way. The frustrations with the loan process flared up again last Sunday and reached a crescendo on Monday with continued anger on Tuesday. They were asking for things that made no sense to me. I asked for explanations and was ignored. Their demands were beyond what was needed to determine our solvency, and they even required “proofs” to be sent for events happening after the close of escrow. So, I began to fear that we would have a pushy little lender rasping in our ears for life. Therefore, I experienced no relief when escrow closed and Ginger held the keys to our new home. She was in front of our new house eager to move in, and I was in Michigan licking my wounds. So, I ruined the moment of celebration for Ginger.

The next day we tried to “make up” by email, phone, and text as our flights brought us closer to reunion in Nashville. Well, I managed to dampen the reunion as well. At first the issue seemed unrelated to the loan process. In brief, I felt force fed with changes that I was not ready to accept. Ginger was no better rested than I, but she was gracious and understanding, and we managed the needed negotiations for now and have been back to our usual marital bliss. Hallelujah, for a wonderful wife.

But now I question “When is it right to give up my expectations, and when is it right to push back?” As Chris Rice sings, “So draw your lines and choose your sides, cause many things are worth the fight, but louder doesn’t make you right. You don’t have to yell, you don’t have to yell.”

Today in Nashville, NAD President Dan Jackson preached about inclusion and tolerance of each other’s sins. There were many hearty “Amens” as we each remembered times we have felt judged by others whose sins were simply different from ours. Jackson said, “The moment we condescend to one person we disconnect from the gospel of Jesus.”

He told the story of a pastor who asked to have his credentials removed because he couldn’t quit smoking and some people were beginning to smell it on him. Jackson told him, “If God caused all sins to carry an odor, we might begin to understand that we are all in a need of a Savior” (or something close to that.) It’s a great story of not shunning a fallen comrade, but it left me with serious questions.

Can everyone maintain their leadership (or membership) regardless of unconquered sins? Must we view all sins as equally repugnant (or as equally acceptable)? Is overeating really as bad as child abuse? Is pedophilia as acceptable as pride? Is forgiving a sinner the same as accepting the sin? If not, how do those two behaviors look different? Can we allow all shortcomings in members, but be less forgiving of leadership? I don’t know. However, I do know that I am uncomfortable with a “hospital for sinners” where the sinners have not come to get well. Without the desire to be well, the “hospital” only becomes a “museum of sinners.”

I know this is a decadent and permissive time in America’s history (or perhaps decline) so I worry that some of the “eat, drink, and be merry” attitude has crept into our church and we are more interested in our own comfort than in progress.

I’m not rambling. Let me tie this together. I have shown strong negative feelings over the past two weeks towards things I disagreed with. Is that wrong? Is the Christian life about plastering a smile over any concerns about health or sustainability or legality or morality? Sooner or later wounds under bandaids may fester and turn gangrenous. There is a time to discuss to disagree and maybe even to resist and disconnect. Paul certainly counseled the Corinthian church to do that with one of its members was having sexual relations with his father’s wife, a thing “that does not even happen among the pagans” (2 Cor 5:1).

I’m not trying to contradict President Jackson. His message of cutting some slack for each other is needed, especially in light of some of the petty things we get upset about. And I know that Paul doesn’t have the whole judgment vs forgiveness thing all figured out, either. He spends some time in Chapter 3 describing how Moses’ covenant of law is fading away and the more glorious covenant of the Spirit is coming. And in Chapter 2 he tells the people to forgive the brother who had been shunned at Paul’s request in his first letter (1 Cor 5). Apparently the brother has repented, but Paul adds in verse 10, “if there was anything to forgive” ?! Then he apparently swings back to law by adding, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad” (2 Cor 5:10).

I can’t explain nor dismiss those differing statements. So, I think there are times in our lives to dismiss or forgive the trespasses of others, and there are times to take action against misbehaviors, yes, even among members that are just trying to get a little happiness on the side.

But when and how?