It’s Sabbath. I’m at Andrews University sitting in a special
session titled “Spiritual Leadership” featuring Richard Blackaby a well-known
pastor, beloved seminary professor, and best-selling author. One of the things
I have loved about being in this doctoral program is that each summer I am
required to be here for “Roundtable” a time when all Leadership scholars gather
for training and inspiration.
Blackaby is telling a story about when he was in his 20s
pastoring a church. Another pastor’s church across town was experiencing
impressive growth. Blackaby’s church was stagnant. He went in tears and prayer
to the Lord and complained, “God! I can’t work any harder! I’m doing all I can.
Your job is to bless my efforts. Why aren’t You doing that?!” He says there was
no audible voice, but God’s answer was very clear, “I am giving you all the
success your character can handle.”
Blackaby was devastated. “Oh Lord, don’t leave me where I
am. Do whatever You must to change me. I have 40 more years to work, I can’t do
it as I am now.” Through the next year things got worse as key families left
his congregation. “They found a way to blame me for everything from world
hunger to climate change,” said Blackaby. The year was a prolonged lesson in
managing his pride, and things turned around in a remarkable way.
It was a time when he had to lay down his pride before he
could receive what God wanted to give. “There’s no point going to one more
leadership seminar, filling one more book with notes on leadership, adding one
more skill to your leadership tool belt if there is something God needs you to
put down. It’s not all about addition. Sometimes subtraction is the key to
progress.”
Then he highlighted the five things he feels are the most deadly for
a leader: pride, fear, laziness, unforgiveness, and pessimism. He had great
stories for each one which I will not tell, but regarding pessimism, he said
that some wear it as a badge of honor, a mark of superior intelligence. Once a
church board member told his father, Henry Blackaby, “Well, I’m your Doubting
Thomas. Jesus had one too.” Henry responded with, “Fine enough, but is that
Thomas before or after he met the risen Christ?” Not sure I’m pessimistic, but
I certainly am skeptical. My default position for looking at anything new is
with squinty eyes.
It got me wondering if there is something that I need to let
go of. I prayed the same prayer: “Lord, lay it on me if there is something I
need to give up, don’t let up. Make it as painful as necessary until I surrender
it.”
I thought about it on the way back to my cousin’s house and
jotted down two things that might be issues for me: goofiness (Ginger warned me
about this one. When I’m around other brainiacs I tend to say silly and
confusing things.) and whininess (I’ve warned me about this one many times.)
Goofiness comes from being a bit unsure of my acceptability, so it’s easy to
keep things edging on the silly side so folks can think I was “just kidding” if
they don’t agree. Whininess comes from being too easily upset by things that do
not match my expectations. I can be easily rattled.
Hmm… not sure that’s all. Not sure those are the worst
things I do. But I am sure God can make it clear in His time.
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